The Trip of his Lifetime

My father, Ryan, was diagnosed with lung cancer in early February 2011.  This was not too surprising since he has smoked from an early age and both of his parents died of cancer.  I was thinking that he would have chemo and radiation treatments, the cancer would go away and we could have a few to many more years together.

Towards mid to late February my dad sounded like he was losing his voice.  He said his throat didn’t hurt but he just had a raspy voice all the time.  It was weird at first but then I decided it fit him and the cowboy in him.  I thought maybe the tumor was attached to his vocal cords and after a while his voice would return to normal.

After many trips to Olathe Medical Center for tests, my dad had surgery in early March, two weeks before he turned 50 years old, to have the tumor in his lung removed.  After the surgeon saw where the tumor was located and the size of the tumor he ended up taking my dad’s left lung.  While in the hospital my dad showed me his incision joking that “this is my shark attack”.  I guess I expected his voice to be back to its original state as soon as he was out of surgery but that was not the case.  The doctors told him it would take a while for it to return, if it ever did.

Dad did very well recovering from his surgery and had no issues with his oxygen levels.  His doctors decided after his recovery he should go ahead and have chemo and radiation to ensure the cancer was gone.  He started this process in May.  Also, during May, my dad ended up back in the hospital with a blood clot in his leg and one in his lung.  I was getting ready to travel to Texas for five weeks for training so I was extremely worried what would happen during that time.  Dad encouraged me to go on my trip and he would finish his treatments so he could be healthy when I returned.

June ended up being not what Dad or myself expected.  He found out that month that the cancer had spread to his shoulder and his adrenal gland.  He wound up having radiation on both places during June and July.  My dad did not tell me how much the cancer spread until I had returned home from Texas.

August 8, 2011 will be a day that changed our family’s lives forever.  The doctors asked my dad to do chemo again to try to stop the cancer.  He said he couldn’t do it because the last time it made him too sick and he was not able to do anything.  With that choice the doctors told him he had 2-4 months to live.

Since I was little my dad talked about taking me to Dodge City.  It was a place his parents took him and his sister when they were little and he wanted to do the same with his child.  For one reason or another we had never made it out there.  So, when Dad was told he didn’t have much time left, we set a date to go to Dodge.  I told Dad, “I have plenty of vacation time, where ever you want to go, let’s do it.”  So Dad started the plans.  Our Dodge trip ended up being a week-long trip.

We left Monday morning on August 29^th.  Dad wanted to leave at the butt crack of dawn (6:30am) but I talked him into 8:00am!  Dad rented a Lincoln Marquis so we were riding in style.  I was teasing him about it looking like a “cop car” and all we needed was a spot light.  Dad and I started our adventure by heading to Osage City to drop my son off at daycare.  While at the daycare Dad was able to see the daycare lady’s bulldog puppy.  I loved watching Dad’s face light up as the pup ran outside.  She is young and ornery so Dad had to stop her from chewing on his shoes.  He petted her for a few minutes then off we went on highway 56.

Dad drove for a while and then I took the wheel.  My dad usually doesn’t drive if there is someone else who will.  I think he told me once that he drove around enough when he was a police officer so now he rather ride.  But in this situation I don’t think that was the reason, I think he wasn’t feeling well.

We drove through McPherson and had to take a detour around a car wreck.  When back on the highway we had to stop for a train.  The train was going forward and backwards and Dad and I both were like “What are they doing?”  Well, we watched the train attached a couple carts, pull forward, back up, release the carts and let them go.  They bump into more carts so jokingly I told Dad “Well, in one town we saw a car wreck and a train wreck.”  He started laughing.  I always loved making him laugh.

We ate lunch at Long John Silver’s which was one of my Grandpa Smith’s favorites and one of my dad’s favorites.  He said Grandpa would always order a big meal and never eat it all.  Well, Dad did the same thing.  That was a theme on our trip, him not eating much.

View from Pawnee Rock

We stopped at Pawnee Rock which is off of highway 56.  Dad had been there several times and was surprised I had never even heard of it.  I walked around and read all of the historical markers and I think Dad just stood at the top and enjoyed the beautiful view.  I took the steps to the top of the lookout and admired the wonderful view.  I also thought to myself of what it would look like covered in buffalo like the settlers would have seen when Pawnee Rock was first found.  After I came back down Dad and I took some pictures of each other and we hit the highway to continue our trip.

Our next stop was in Lardner at the Santa Fe Trail Center and Museum.  Dad explained to the man at the admission booth that we were on this trip because he was sick.  The man told him there were wheelchairs available if he needed one but he did not need one that day.  As we rounded the first corner of the museum their stood my arch enemy, the buffalo!  (I have had a phobia of buffalo since I was 5 years old.)  Dad asked if I would take his picture with the buffalo.  I did, then he asked if he could take my picture with it.  I looked at him like are you serious?  But said, “Sure, as long as I don’t have to get too close to it.”

The Santa Fe Trail Center and Museum has a large building full of great information and artifacts about Kansas.  Behind that building are other buildings including an old church, school house, sod house, and an underground house.  Dad told me to go ahead and go look at the buildings, he had been there before and didn’t want to look at them again.  It was also the middle of the afternoon and 100 degrees so I couldn’t blame him for not wanting to leave the air conditioning.  I walked out to the sod house and took some pictures and headed back in for relief from the heat.  I found Dad in the gift shop and we left to finish our journey to Dodge City.

Dad and I got to Dodge City around 5:00pm.  We stayed at a hotel just down from Boot Hill I believe it was a Days Inn or some kind of Inn.  When looking for it Dad couldn’t remember the name of it but remembered it when he saw it.  He had stayed at this hotel before and liked it because it had an indoor pool and a restaurant that was connected.  Dad and I checked in and moved our luggage into our room.  I was worried about Dad because we ended up with a room on the upper level with no elevator.  I offered to carry his bag but of course he wouldn’t let me.  Once settled into our “home on the road” we headed down to the Pancake Inn for dinner.  Dad had told me he wasn’t very hungry before we went down so I wasn’t surprised when he didn’t eat much of his meal.

We went back upstairs to our room and got our suits on to go swimming.  We were both looking forward to splashing around and relaxing in the hot tub.  Well, the pool water was so cold our teeth were chattering with only our feet in.  Needless to say, we ended up in the hot tub instead.

The next morning I woke up around 8:30 and saw Dad was still asleep so I went ahead and took my shower and got around. 9:00am he was still asleep so I just let him rest and played around with my phone.  I think he started moving around 11:00am.  He asked me why I hadn’t woke him up and continued to tell me he did not sleep well.  I told him I wasn’t in a hurry so I let him rest.  We went down stairs to the restaurant then headed to Boot Hill.

Boot Hill was full of information from types of guns used in the era to a bartender who told us about the original artwork in the saloon.  One building housed a large stuffed buffalo along with videos above it that spoke about the buffalo slaughter.  I stood there and watched hundreds of buffalo running across the plains and I could feel the floor shake as if Dad and I were there.  As I said before, I am afraid of buffalo and this was about all I could take.  Dad had me take his picture with the buffalo again which I did and was ready to move on.  He asked if he could take my picture with the buffalo and I said, “No, you got one yesterday, let’s go.”  He, like always, did not take no for an answer.  So, with sweaty palms I stood as close as I’ve ever been to a stuffed buffalo and had my picture taken.  “Smile,” my dad said.  “I am! Take the picture!” I replied.

After Boot Hill we drove to where my Great Grandpa Shores had his appliance store.  The small building had been turned into a house and it made my dad’s day that they hadn’t torn it down.  Next, we went to the cemetery where my Great Grandma and Grandpa Shores are laid to rest.

That night, after dinner at the same restaurant down stairs and a toe-dip into the freezing cold pool, Dad and I played cribbage which had been one of our pastime favorites.  Dad had taught me how to play this game at a young age which I think helped me learn how to count and my math skills.  Whenever we played it Dad would help me count my points to make sure I didn’t miss any and I think sometimes he would throw good cards in my crib so I wouldn’t lose by a lot.  He didn’t have to do any of that during that game.  In fact, I helped him count his points.  I also beat him for the first time since I could remember!

The next morning after breakfast at the same restaurant, we headed to Meade to see the Dalton Gang’s secret hide out.  I think what Dad liked most about the trip there was the wind turbines because he took numerous pictures of them.  When we got to the hide out there was a squirrel eating corn that allowed us to get very close to him.  Dad was amazed.  Dad has always liked squirrels and he said he was going to start putting out corn for them instead of the feed he was using.  The man running the hideout and my dad could have been best friends!  The man does national gun fighter clubs and is a judge for quick drawl competitions.  He and my dad started talking and I finally had to pry my dad away so we could continue on our trip.  But before we left the man gave my dad a piece of paper that had 10 rules that cowboys were to live by. My dad later framed and hung it on his wall.

After mead we went to Ashland where my dad was born and lived until he was 4 years old.  We drove past his old homestead but the house was gone.  Dad guessed it must have caught on fire and been torn down.  He was sad.  He showed me the bank where my Grandma worked and some neighbors houses that he remembered playing at.  We visited their county museum then headed back to Dodge for the night.

That evening we ate at the same restaurant and made it all the way into the pool.  We also played a hand of cribbage which my dad won.

Thursday morning we got up and packed our things to leave.  Before getting the heck out of Dodge we had breakfast at our restaurant one last time then took the highway to Medicine Lodge.

Medicine Lodge is the home of Carry Nation and has her old home set up as a museum.  We visited her home and the stockade museum beside it.  Both were very interesting.  We continued our trip after the museum to Wellington where we visited the Chisholm Trail museum.  If you ever go to a museum in Kansas this is the one I recommend.  It is an old hospital and is three stories of great and amazing things.  We got there late in the afternoon so the man said he had already turned the air conditioner and lights off upstairs but we were free to still travel up there.  I’m making my way in and out of the rooms admiring all of the neat things when my dad asks me what I’m doing.  I hadn’t realized I was doing anything so I just looked at him blankly like “Duh, looking at this stuff!”  He said “Are you scared a buffalo is going to jump out?”  I had been peeking around corners and down hallways to not be caught off guard to come face-to-face with my enemy and Dad had been watching me and laughing at me.

After we finished the museum we found ourselves a hotel with a non-freezing pool.  It was next door to KFC so we walked over and had dinner.  That night we deemed was the tie-breaker/championship game of cribbage since we both had won one.  And I must brag and say I beat the pants off of my dad!  I was proud and happy that a game he prided himself on I had beat him at.  For winning he gave me his cribbage board and deck of cards so I could teach my son and boyfriend.

Friday morning we left Wellington to head home.  I have to admit I was enjoying myself but I was really ready to come home.  We made a detour through Neodesha so Dad and I could visit with his ex-wife and her family.  We had lunch with them at Dairy Queen and finished the trip getting back to Lyndon around 2:30-3:00pm.

My dad enjoyed that trip more than words can ever express.  He told me numerous times that he had a blast and thanked me for going.  He gave me a small windmill the following week for my birthday because on the trip I told him how much I liked them.

Dad’s strength got less and less after our trip.  He told me at one point that since our trip he just felt tired all the time.  The first weekend of October he, his wife, her daughter’s and my dad’s best friend went to Coffeyville for Dalton Day’s and looking at the pictures he enjoyed himself.

October 15,2011 my father passed away at the age of 50.  I am so glad we were able to take that trip so I could learn so many more things and facts about his lifetime.